I would be the first ray of sun to kiss your face 
'm in my room, lying on my bed, on a fresh white linen and my pc.Indosso lightly dressed with a pattern of flowers in beautiful colors, outside is not a good time even threatened rain but it still made caldo.Sono "stomach", hair restrained by a large clip struggle to stay in order and some lock slips on my face, now I'm looking at the breast usual, makes a fine show from the neckline, but tonight he is hiding shyly, fiddling with his legs, I have my kittens near me, Miss is on mine, even now his chair and dozes, the other cat Andre, also called by me, cat, duck, a beautiful baby striped red white cat, plays with the edge of my dress that every movement my legs moving and he seems a gioco.Ogni time I walk on my back, has a pitch so delicate plush, came up with his nose to my face, looks at me as if to see what he is doing and then retraces his steps. knew what was cuddly, I mistook for its mother. He loves to sleep on my side and touched his paw and sleep so often that I touch her paw and he makes me do the fusa.Mi company, we can also speak with them seems to me to understand how I respond I love looking at them meowing viso.Io these gattini.Stavo reading some posts on my blog, how much truth I have written in those pages! This man that I loved to death, left me a lot of bitterness and pain in and some of his words resonate often in my head "or mine or anyone remember this even after death" seems like a curse, tried to fall in love to try to fill that emptiness that is within me, but always with the result negativo.S 'fall in love with me, but I'm afraid to do not to suffer again, and even when not wanting to be successful here that the sentence is avverà.Avviene always something or someone that makes us away, and I began again to get sick, to suffer like a wounded animal . Maybe I'm wrong I am reluctant to be in relation to not let me down completely, as I would like or just afraid of 'love and so vanishes tutto.Ma is also true that sometimes pronounce the word love too easily, without giving the proper meaning and end up believing and then you realize that it was just a cruel game, who told you that I love you "is just a lot like those who delude themselves by saying that you love vero.L 'love life but it is true that if you then fades away a little life! 
seemed everything was already written and called my future with Joseph, as the plot of a film which is often already knows the ending "and they lived happily ever after" ... in the movie! But the reality was beginning to show me another end of the report, began to Starmie "narrow" so many things, no, that does not love her anymore, but maybe grow up and confront with some of my peers I opened my eyes to another way of seeing our relationship. Increasingly I was impatient to its constraints, there was nothing wrong with some friends invited me to go out for shopping or if I lingered to chat with colleagues in the lobby of my faculty, or they trade with some of them the number of mobile phone ... the latter, then, a tragedy! I immediately recalled and if I rebelled with feeble protests, Joseph made me lessons of "savoir vivre", "Do not you see how your friends are dressed? You know the saying, if you join then they will treat you as such. "He continued" It is good that you stop to chat with colleagues outside the classroom, everyone knows who you are, do you want then laugh at me? The phone! But seriously, is a very personal thing you do not have to give your number to anyone. "So, in addition to lecture his students on his lessons with me for life, life as a recluse! I finished this sentence almost angrily, because my thoughts come back and some do not live well, he sensed my impatience that more and more effort could suffocate. Sometimes I felt like a horse confined in an enclosure, an animal that I love because it gives me the idea of \u200b\u200bfreedom I felt co 
me one of them, but kept a tight rein on him, but every bite bite and tear his head stood up proud, as if to make it clear that I did not love him more than his head down, and heedless of the blows to spur induce me to undergo, I reacted rather arching his back trying to throw to run free and alone in the grasslands. Perhaps all that transpired in my eyes, in my reactions to his "paternalism" ... embraced me and hugged me and said, "but as my paws Sicilian rebel ... and I melt like snow in the sun! That's enough stringesse me in his arms, or feel his lips on mine, to me, to feel myself slipping from his hands caress my body as the touch of a feather that gave me chills and I left me immense pleasure to him ... as always. 
the years passed, the inexorable passage of time and Joseph was always beside me. He ran my life in every way. You might think I do not care, I swept up as the waters of a stream: in fact I was so in harmony that I noticed. Joseph also bought me clothes to his taste, as if dressed her doll! Kept me away from my friends, were not suited to me said, let me just choose the option that I liked and that he thought was right for me, but just because it was almost to his intellectual level, imagine if I had chosen a right to cultural mediocre! Today you know I think of those times, I felt like a butterfly in its chrysalis, that is, exists but is locked in a prison and is waiting to get rid of the housing and to "fly" alone to enjoy the wonders of nature. I did not take much to be happy, his caresses, his kisses, stay in his arms made me touch "the sky with a finger," I did not care much ... and I realized that his hand held tight in my cocoon! His presence in my house was now normal, even chose the food for me, I love the fish, is one of my favorite dishes ... and he know what he was doing? Before going to lecture at the University went to the fish market early in the morning and I bought the fish, said that "only in the morning is the best," led him to mom and also advised on how to cook ... "Here is the fish Picciriddi my pa," as well as used to say to want to nurture his love even materially. Mom snorted when Joseph, as aforesaid, the recommended method of production, and she does not mind so often threatened him with certain trappings that would have pulled him if he had not made him have his way. Mom reminded him that I was his daughter, and knew what I liked or not, with that wry smile that accompanied his words and hiding behind a lot of impatience ch! Then if I had a lesson we went to university together, but first made sure I had a dress code "appropriate" to leave ... Woe to dress 
me in my own way, if I wore a pants-over tights with a sweater or jeans and long sweaters a little member, his comment was always the same: "you're dressed to bitch, you know that I like it !"... So, sadly, did not reply, I would change, he chose me what I had to wear and I cuddling, kissing ... "This is now my doll." Passive, blind, deaf? No! Only love, to the point of life based on his own and only for him, just to make him happy as I was so close to him! You know as I write and I tell myself, even though it may seem strange, I get a lump in my throat, because Joseph really loved me, that love crazy, obsessive ... but it was really love his way. Love, with a capital A, because it is often easy to say "I love you", for some it is just a way to say or even to deceive others say they do not know what love is and have never lived, pronounce this word and believe that is normal at times ... do not know that sin is offending the sentiment is the person to whom I address it, and there are only empty inside people that love does not even know how to spell! 
